The Next Poster Story...

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VisforYoshi
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Coming out of hiding, I decide to accept the help, still traumatized by the day before where the murderer tried to hunt me down and shoot me. I give powerhound a very shiny nickel, but dont really feel like his advice helpped that much. Walking down the street, not feeling too much better,I run into the next poster who grabs me by the arms and tells me in a slightly itallian accent "There you are, the boss wants to see you and talk about what you've seen him do"


"A delayed game is eventually good. A rushed game is bad forever"

-Shigeru Miyamoto

Donner
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I've been practicing my Italian accent, so I was trying it out on Vis.  I lead him to the cubicle where my boss is.  On seeing him, my boss says, "I don't remember what I did yesterday to get into that website.  You were there.  What did I do?"  But before Vis can reply, gunshots ring out!  There's screaming!  Panic Pandemonium!  When the dust clears, only one person is still standing.  That's the next poster.


"Deja-fu? You've heard of that?"
- Lu Tze, Sweeper, Thief of Time by Terry Pratchett

Nielzabub
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After Powerhound was unable to help me, I decided to get some ice cream and retire from fighting crime as a superhero. Unfortunately, my nemesis had other plans. He showed up and fired gunshots destroying my ice cream. Panic ensued and everyone left. I had known of my nemesis. We met on the superhero/supervillain chat boards, but this was our first meeting, and he/she is the next poster.


Good ideas are usually just bad ideas a stubborn person eventually fixed.

phantaskippy
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Man I hate that Nielzabub, "I'm so cool I fight crime and have a cool name."  Jerk.  Showed up and fired some blanks today, face time ya know.  So everyone runs and the great Neilzabub is all "I'll just stand here and drool like the worst hero ever."

But then the news is all "Neilzabub, you are so brave, you stayed there and chased off the villain."  Idiots!  Wait till they get a load of my Abomination, The Next Poster!

(maniacal laughter)

BlueHairedMeerkat
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What, you thought an anthropomorphic meerkat with blue fur just sort of happened?

Phanta is... well, more of a father than a creator. He uplifted me, gave me many new skills, and asked for nothing in return. I was drawn to the light, turned to crime-fighting, and then Phanta asked me to take him under my wing, show him the ropes. So I did. I didn't ask why.

Now Phanta's asked me to help kill him.

I am in full-on angst mode now. My creator or my assistant? My friend... or my father?

I sit on a park bench, head held in my hands. The next poster is the stranger who sits down next to me and offers some sage advice.


“You gotta have blue hair."
-Reckless

Powerhound_2000
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I sit down in the park bench.  My advice said in my best Napolean Dynamite impersonation is "Just follow your heart.   That's what I do".   I pat BlueHairedMeerKat on the back and head on my way.   The next poster doesn't see me and knocks me over when they walk into me.  


Crush your enemies, drive them before you, and laminate their women! - Guise, Prime Wardens #31

 
Trajector
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"Whoops! Sorry!" I exclaim, good-naturedly hauling Powerhound upright and patting him on the back. After he's out of sight, I pull my other hand out of my pocket. Powerhound's car keys dangle from my index finger. I chuckle to myself.

I walk around aimlessly, occasionally pushing the unlock button, until I hear a cheerful "boop, BOOP!" echoing along the city street. I follow the breadcrumb trail of "BOOP"s until I'm standing next to a first-run Tesla Roadster. "Awesome, and eco-resposible!" I grin, and "BOOP" my way into the driver's seat.

The car takes off instantly, pressing me into the seat cushions. But I'm disappointed in the electric motor's lack of noise.

"BVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVRRRRRRRRRMMMM!" I onomatopoeia loudly, to compensate. "vvvvvvvvvvVVVVVVVRRRRRM vvvvvvrrrrrrRRRRRRRRRRRRRMMMMMM!"

As I blast down the highway making "vroom" noises in the otherwise silent car cabin, I wake up the next poster, who was dozing in the rear seat.

Nielzabub
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I'm not entirely sure how I ended up here. I thought I was taking a nap in my ultra cool eco friendly motorcycle. It's at this moment that I remember I'm broke and don't actually have that.

 

It's at this moment that I also realize that the bike is being stolen. I stand to deliver a "Stop villain or I will stop you" speech, but I forgot that the laws of physics were a thing, and as I stand up, I fall out of the bike.

 

The next poster finds my mangled, broken body.


Good ideas are usually just bad ideas a stubborn person eventually fixed.

Matchstickman
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"Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!"

I exclaim as the broken, mangled body lands at my feet.

"Now I have to get this Meerkat costume dry cleaned to get the blood this inconsiderate person leaked all over my costume"

Conveniently located right next to where I'm standing is a shop that I think says Dry Cleaners (some of the letters of the sign have .allen o.f)

Who was running this (possible) Dry Cleaners but the next poster...


Stop lurking, it makes you look like a villain target
When you do things right, people won’t be sure you’ve done anything at all

Temporary image until an H emoticon is added!

Nielzabub
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Matchstickman is very confused when comes in and sees me working at the Dry Cleaners. I tell him that I'm simply a twin. In truth, I'm a remnant from the rebooted thread who's very angry that his universe was destroyed. I dry clean Matchstickman's costume, but also give him his pants from the previous universe. Soon, the real conflict will begin. The next poster gets to walk in on me laughing maniacally.


Good ideas are usually just bad ideas a stubborn person eventually fixed.

phantaskippy
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"That's my line you pusillanimous mass of pulchritude!  I get to do the evil laugh!  Me!"  I scream, my voice cracking, "You'll be hearing from my lawyer!"

I burst out the door, tears streaming down my face.  "I never should have agreed to be a nemesis over the internet" suddenly i bump into something furry, and looking up see my baby, my beautiful blue abomination.

I start to give it a nice pet behind the ear when it's head comes off.  "A costume?" I stumble backwards confused, slip on a pool of blood and crash into the non-abomination in front of me, knocking us both down on top of a familiar looking body, and a strange pair of pants goes flying through the air, the world swirls around me, and just before losing consciousness I see the pants fall on the next poster.

Nielzabub
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The pants fall on the mangled body on this unvierse's version of myself. Somehow the pants restored me. I see both Matchstickman and Phantaskippy on the ground. I put the pants on Matchstickman because somehow, I know it just feels right. I check on my nemesis to see if he's all right, and he seems to be. I look through the window and see my nega self and decide I'm not even going to touch this one.

 

In order to process the events of the day I go to my favorite pizza bar\game store that is owned by the next poster.


Good ideas are usually just bad ideas a stubborn person eventually fixed.

Comrade Bubbles
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Unfortunately, it had been closed minutes earlier to a terrible and sickening incident involving a candy floss machine, three marbles, the dice roller from a Yahtzee set and two small birds. You find me giving a statement to a policeman while the next poster robs the store behind my oblivious head.


The space/time continuum was broken when I got here. Honest.

Powerhound_2000
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Having gone broke giving advice to others and having lost my car keys I decide maybe a pizza will calm me.  However, upon entering the establishment I notice my wallet is missing too.  So this turns me to a life of crime and I decide to rob the pizza parlor.  The next poster sees me in an alley counting the cash blissfully ignorant of my surroundings. 


Crush your enemies, drive them before you, and laminate their women! - Guise, Prime Wardens #31

 
Trajector
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As I continue zooming down the highway, going "vvvvRRRROOOOM" aloud for hours on end, it dawns on me: I got away!

It doesn't feel right.

I stop and drum my fingers on the steering wheel, then decide that, what the heck, this was fun and all but maybe I'll just give the car back.

I turn around and drive back to the city. I try to find guy I spotted the car keys from, and hey! There he is! Powerhound is in an alley, fiddling with something.

I jump out of the car, shouting "hey, man!"

He looks back, furtively.

"I got your keys! Cool car!"

"Where's my Nielzabub?" He asks me.

"Huh?"

"I left him in the back seat," explains Powerhound.

"Oh," I say, "I couldn't hear anything over my vroom noises."

Feeling like this is getting weird, I sidle away. Suddenly, the next poster taps me on the shoulder.

VisforYoshi
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Hoping nobody recognizes me in my brilliant disguise of a sombrero, poncho and sunglasses, I decide to try out my disguise on some people who recognized me before. When I thought I had them fooled, one of the three recognized my voice. Sighing, I figured it would be for the best if I completley redo my costume. I decide to scrap the design and special order a new one online. This time it's a Handlebar mustache, some spurred boots, and a ten gallon hat. I wait in hiding for 2-4 days for the delivey to arrive, and I decide to put on my disguise and my newly bought voice adjuster that I cleverly hid in the mustache. I decide to test it out by asking the next poster for directions to the nearest saloon


"A delayed game is eventually good. A rushed game is bad forever"

-Shigeru Miyamoto

Nielzabub
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Dismayed by the lack of pizza, I decide to go to my other haunt to relax, the ice cream parlor themed bowling alley. A strange man with a high pitch voice asks me for directions to a saloon. He is just generally creeping me out with his sex offender costume and high pitched voice. I scream, "I need an adult!" and run away. As I run, I see a group of undercover cops arrest the strange man. The next poster is sitting next to VisforYoshi in the back of the police car.


Good ideas are usually just bad ideas a stubborn person eventually fixed.

VisforYoshi
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Unfortunatley due to some sort of paradox from the crash caused by me breaking the fourth wall last series, I ended up in a police car with myself from another series/plotline. He got arrested for disturbing the peace by dropping a package full of fireworks on the sidewalk on a day that was too hot, the heat from the pavement was enough to have all of them go off simultaneosly and set the local pizza bar on fire. I got set free due to a mistake which I promised never to do again, but the other me was not so lucky. Then after I fell and hit my head on a bench at the local park it hit me: The shutdown from last series that I caused probably had more paradoxs than that. Then I remember when looking straight into the cracks of the broken forth wall, there was a version of me that was a mafia Don Could this be the killer that the two trust detectives were after? Could I be running from myself? Terrified, I started going slightly frantinc, but calm down and try to gather my thoughts. After a while of remembering what happened, I realized that the Don had an assistant. After rememebring the face, I immediatly run to the next poster in order to tell them that what the them from another plotline has been up to


"A delayed game is eventually good. A rushed game is bad forever"

-Shigeru Miyamoto

BlueHairedMeerkat
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Egads! So I have to fight... myself?

Well, no. I have to fight a VisforYoshi from another universe (after returning this universe's Yoshi to the police car; crime doesn't pay, kids), who has a me as an assistant. My head hurts already.

Still, if I'm going to stop this I'm going to need something to help me move through dimensions. Fortunately, I know just the poster...


“You gotta have blue hair."
-Reckless

Comrade Bubbles
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Or, at least, you thought you did. After my last establishment was closed, my funds are nil. Only able to offer you a fortune cookie and an overripe banana, I bid you good luck as I turn and walk into a ladder being carried by the next poster.


The space/time continuum was broken when I got here. Honest.

VisforYoshi
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Once again explaining to the judge that I technically did nothing wrong, I once again am able to leave the police station/courthouse and once again continue on my way. I decided to lie low for a while and take up a job running a ladder back and forth between town. Nobody explained why I had to walk with the same ladder in a full circle, but even if I was getting nothing productive done, pay is still pay. Today I accidentally hit some guy with the ladder. Not wanting to be sued (and deal with the cops AGAIN) I decide to rush on over and help this person that fell on the floor. After about 5 minutes of apologizing and $5 to let him get a drink and some ice cream (or whatever he really wanted to get, I really didn't care) I decide to once again move the ladder. After a hard day of work, I decide to return to my hiding spot, which is a secret room hidden in an alley by a recently closed pizza resteraunt. Living off of nothing but the discarded hot dogs from the gas station across the street, I managed to scrape by and keep myself from getting caught by anybody out to kill me. One of these days, I found a hidden box right next to a dumpster filled nearly to the brim with cranberry juice. withough hesitation, I driink alose all of it within one sitting and returned to my hiding place. An hour later, I learned that that box was actually a secret stash of cranberry juice that I ended up drinking. I learned that the owner of the stash was the next poster eavedropping from my hiding spot as he made his usual detour to check on his cranbery juice


"A delayed game is eventually good. A rushed game is bad forever"

-Shigeru Miyamoto

Nielzabub
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In addition to Matchstickman's pants, NegaNielzabub's vague, dangerous, and complicated plan to do something also requires a certain amount of cranberry juice at the right age. I have just a sample that I have hidden behind a dumpster when...what? Someone drank it? You fool! You don't know what you've done.

I chase off VisforYoshi with a broom and go out desperately searching for cranberry juice. My negaversion procures it from the next poster.


Good ideas are usually just bad ideas a stubborn person eventually fixed.

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