Stickers, dating, and other hilarity (split)

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Stickers, dating, and other hilarity (split)

<Split off the Personality Types discussion>

 

Silverleaf wrote:
I've seen a similar thing done on nights out - a green sticker means I'm actively looking for someone to hook up with, yellow means I might be interested in hooking up, and red means definitely not under any circumstances. Saves a lot of time and effort apparently, but I don't think it's common.Shame. I think more people should be able to express "don't even think about it sunshine" without having to actively reject people. ;)

Speaking as a man who would love to hit on every pretty girl in the room, but hates being rejected, I would love so much if this were done in all singles' environments.  I also think it'd be good to have multiple symbols on the badge or whatever, colored differently for each, so that you could signal whether you're up for light flirting, deep conversation, making out, "let's go back to my place", or "I think that closet is soundproof", and have varying agreements with all these.  Ideally make the badge electronic so you could reprogram it as your mood changes.


"Is there beauty in a forest, if no creature stops and calls it lovely, now and then? Isn't that what 'sapience' is for?"
--David Brin, "Brightness Reef"

Edited by: Rabit on Feb 19 2014 - 5:19pm
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How depressing would it be to go talk to a girl and see her green badge turn immediately red, hahaha. 

Also, I think part of the issue would be that some people might not want to admit they are in the mood for hooking up but would rather believe that things just happened. We place certain labels in people who are okay with just hooking up, especially women, so why would they want to advertise themselves as being that kind of person. In the same vein, people who are bold enough to not care about such labels and are willing to let it be known that they are on the prowl probably don't need a sticker to do so. 

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jagarciao wrote:

How depressing would it be to go talk to a girl and see her green badge turn immediately red, hahaha.

Hey man, I'd take it.  Save all kinds of awkwardness.

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Also, I think part of the issue would be that some people might not want to admit they are in the mood for hooking up but would rather believe that things just happened.

Such romanticism ought to be left in the realm of other childish fairy tales like unicorns.  I understand the appeal, it'd be nice if life was all magical like that, but the reality is that the best way to live a satisfying life is to take responsibility for what needs to be done, and face the facts so that you can gain a sense of ownership over your own destiny.

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We place certain labels in people who are okay with just hooking up, especially women

Right, well, we need to knock that the  off already.  Seriously.

Quote:
In the same vein, people who are bold enough to not care about such labels and are willing to let it be known that they are on the prowl probably don't need a sticker to do so.

They should have the sticker so that nobody makes unfounded assumptions about what their voice tone or body language or whatever supposedly means, according to a social consensus which isn't actually anywhere near as universal as people tend to think.

<Edited to remove swearing - Rabit>


"Is there beauty in a forest, if no creature stops and calls it lovely, now and then? Isn't that what 'sapience' is for?"
--David Brin, "Brightness Reef"

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Quote:

Quote:

Also, I think part of the issue would be that some people might not want to admit they are in the mood for hooking up but would rather believe that things just happened.

 

Such romanticism ought to be left in the realm of other childish fairy tales like unicorns.  I understand the appeal, it'd be nice if life was all magical like that, but the reality is that the best way to live a satisfying life is to take responsibility for what needs to be done, and face the facts so that you can gain a sense of ownership over your own destiny.

Maybe, but expecting everyone to adhere to your perception of what reality is, is no different than them expecting you to adhere the current one. So no change there...

Plus there might be some other reasons for not advertising it. Some people enjoy the game, or maybe they feel the chase is part of the experience... or maybe she is willing to hook up with you if you just put a little effort into it. 

Quote:
Quote:
We place certain labels in people who are okay with just hooking up, especially women

 

Right, well, we need to knock that the €@$% off already.  Seriously.

agreed. But until we do... good luck getting people to embrace the "I want to hook up sign"

Quote:

Quote:

In the same vein, people who are bold enough to not care about such labels and are willing to let it be known that they are on the prowl probably don't need a sticker to do so.

 

They should have the sticker so that nobody makes unfounded assumptions about what their voice tone or body language or whatever supposedly means, according to a social consensus which isn't actually anywhere near as universal as people tend to think.

Ha. well, you could just ask them... then there is no unfounded assumption and no need for a sticker. 

 

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jagarciao wrote:

Maybe, but expecting everyone to adhere to your perception of what reality is, is no different than them expecting you to adhere the current one.

There is one actual reality, regardless of perception.  I contend that the default set of societal assumptions is objectively less accurate than my assessment of what they should be.

Quote:
Some people enjoy the game, or maybe they feel the chase is part of the experience... or maybe she is willing to hook up with you if you just put a little effort into it.

(and I tend to regard all of those types of persons as s....)[/antisocialmutterings]

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Ha. well, you could just ask them... then there is no unfounded assumption and no need for a sticker.

But that involves approaching them and engaging in conversation, at which point it's no longer possible to just go "oh, nevermind" and walk away if it turns out you were wrong about them being compatible.  The whole point of a system like this is to make it easier for people to gain positive contacts AND avoid undesireable encounters.


"Is there beauty in a forest, if no creature stops and calls it lovely, now and then? Isn't that what 'sapience' is for?"
--David Brin, "Brightness Reef"

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Quote:

There is one actual reality, regardless of perception.  I contend that the default set of societal assumptions is objectively less accurate than my assessment of what they should be.

Ha. OK well I can't really argue with a subjective assessment of objectivity. And my views on reality and perception are pretty much the opposite... so I'll leave that one alone.

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But that involves approaching them and engaging in conversation, at which point it's no longer possible to just go "oh, nevermind" and walk away if it turns out you were wrong about them being compatible.  The whole point of a system like this is to make it easier for people to gain positive contacts AND avoid undesireable encounte


Well, all I can say to that is BE the change you want to see. Next time you are in a singles setting out on a name badge that clearly expresses your intentions for the evening. People who aren't interested in that will leave you alone and not waste your time. :)

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As long as people don't assume that a green sticker means "I'll hook up with anyone". You still have to find out if they're interested in you, but it does make the chances of you actually pulling a bit higher since you aren't wasting your time approaching people who are definitely not interested in anything, assuming that's your primary goal for the evening (rather than the generic "have a good time"). 

The big problem with that whole idea is that ironically it can make things less clear for some people.  The kind of people who think, "she was wearing a short skirt, she was asking for it" would probably also blame someone with a green sticker if they were attacked, and/or see it as an invitation to harass or abuse someone because "the sticker says yes".

I personally think it's a shame that people can't ask for what they want directly without feeling ashamed or embarrassed or whatever, rather than the guessing games that are so often played because of the way people are "supposed" to behave. It's more difficult for a woman in particular to be proactive in that way because she'll immediately be branded a slut. And that's a terrible thing.

Also apologies for having derailed the thread somewhat...


Just assume I'm always doing that.

Damn it, Ronway!

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Ooh. Yes, I definitely see the "she shouldn't have worn that sticker if she didn't want it" scenario as being a HUGE  drawback to that system. 

I don't mind the "games" so much because I feel they are often part of the process of determining that compatibility. I don't think I could list on a sticker, in any sort of comprehensive manner, the traits that I am looking for... so I find that interaction that some may see as a waste of time to be essential to the process. 

Also, I think internet dating sites pretty much cover that full disclosure, sticker idea in an effective and discreet manner. 

To at least give a small semblance of topic relevance (to that other completely unrelated thread about personality types), I just took that test and I am ENTP which, if I recall correctly, I have been every time I have taken that test. 

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The same group which distributes the "stickers" (not sure how we came up with that name) would also be responsible for communicating with the courts about the fact that a green badge does not constitute consent to immediately be assaulted.  (Of course, perhaps that's what the purple "sticker" is for - there are people who enjoy that sort of edgeplay, though they are quite rare, so I'd be in favor of enabling them too, but with appropriate "use with caution" disclaimers and some sort of control interlock, to ensure that you can't accidentally bump your badge to such a setting.)


"Is there beauty in a forest, if no creature stops and calls it lovely, now and then? Isn't that what 'sapience' is for?"
--David Brin, "Brightness Reef"

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Silverleaf wrote:

Also apologies for having derailed the thread somewhat...

No apologies needed - it's an interesting conversation, so we'll split it. (And apologies to jagarciao for having to take his one on-topic line out of the thread. Really wish we could split selective posts out instead of from a specific point in time... )


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Well, maybe, there is your calling. You can be the creator of the sticker system that will revolutionize and simplify the dating world. 

Seize the day, my friend!!

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Apparently you ers don't like me to ing swear all the god time, so I'll just use this piece of smiley a whole of a lot.  !

(I am doing this for the sake of amusement, not any other emotion.  Apologies if I offend anyone; this is not my intent.)

Also, it seems that when you split this off the Personality Types thread, that one stopped being Active.  I was about to post to it and had to do a Search to find it again.


"Is there beauty in a forest, if no creature stops and calls it lovely, now and then? Isn't that what 'sapience' is for?"
--David Brin, "Brightness Reef"

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Envisioner wrote:

Apparently you ers don't like me to ing swear all the god time, so I'll just use this piece of smiley a whole of a lot.  !(I am doing this for the sake of amusement, not any other emotion.  Apologies if I offend anyone; this is not my intent.)

I have no issues with this.

Other than the mass of synchronized blinking images.

Envisioner wrote:

Also, it seems that when you split this off the Personality Types thread, that one stopped being Active.  I was about to post to it and had to do a Search to find it again.

Forums are sorted by date of previous post - split something far enough back, it really drops...


"See, this is another sign of your tragic space dementia, all paranoid and crotchety. Breaks the heart." - Mal

Unicode U+24BD gets us Ⓗ. (Thanks, Godai!)

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Joel figured out the issue and fixed the post! Yay, Joel!

(By the way, if you want a non-animated censored emoticon you can use .)


"See, this is another sign of your tragic space dementia, all paranoid and crotchety. Breaks the heart." - Mal

Unicode U+24BD gets us Ⓗ. (Thanks, Godai!)

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We have a similar event here at my university--you attend a dorm party wearing a green (single), yellow (dating), or red (in a relationship) shirt to show your "status". I've never been to one--the idea seems childish, and I highly doubt anyone really gets anything from such a party. It's much easier for me to meet women elsewhere, rather than a lame party in a dorm that involves zero... drinks.


You're free to do whatever you want to.

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In square dancing, it's reasonably common for dancers without partners to wear "Solo" badges to indicate their status.  Of course it's different when a) you need a partner every dance, b) there's less emotional attachement required (although avoiding terrible dancers is a plus), and c) most everyone is far too old.

Also, badges in general are a big part of square dancing.  Everyone has a name badge, and extra badges are not uncommon.


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