Just the punchline!

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Pydro
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Just the punchline!

Recently, I have found jokes to be too long, and I just want them to get to the punchline already. So, I figured I would start a thread that only has punchlines. I'll start:

To get to the other side.


Civilized men are more discourteous than savages because they know they can be impolite without having their skulls split, as a general thing.
-Robert E. Howard, "The Tower of the Elephant"

McBehrer
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Pink Freud


McBehrer is the sole winner of this game... And McBehrer, I would step carefully should you find your way down dark alleys. More than one vote said simply, "McBehrer must die."

McBehrer confirmed to be Biomancer!
-- Trajector

Donner
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"You man the guns.  I'll drive."


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No, these are my feet.


Just assume I'm always doing that.

Damn it, Ronway!

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"The Aristocrats!"

I love how meta this one is, google "The aristocrats joke" for an explaination


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"To whom."

Matchstickman
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This is still too long for me, I'm shortening mine to just the last letter of the punchline.

z


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Mezike
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... and Christopher said "suit yourself!"

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Good thing I have BigFeet.

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And then I stabbed the guy.


Good ideas are usually just bad ideas a stubborn person eventually fixed.

phantaskippy
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And that's how you get ants!

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Because the rest don't exist.  


Crush your enemies, drive them before you, and laminate their women! - Guise, Prime Wardens #31

 
defeateddust
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A Meanderthal

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Whatever God wants, he keeps!

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Because you can't see them!


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Because if I tell you that, you'll go to my house and steal my laundry.


Just assume I'm always doing that.

Damn it, Ronway!

Pydro
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Guise and Dahls.


Civilized men are more discourteous than savages because they know they can be impolite without having their skulls split, as a general thing.
-Robert E. Howard, "The Tower of the Elephant"

Reckless
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I've always had these.


Ra, God of the Fun
Draw, God of the Sun
The Matriarch's Psychic damage is her forcing a gratuitous amount of Snapple facts about birds into a hero's brain.

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And that is how we know the world to be banana-shaped.


"Deja-fu? You've heard of that?"
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It's a cereal.


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"Good!" says the duck. "Got any grapes?"


Crush your enemies, drive them before you, and laminate their women! - Guise, Prime Wardens #31

 
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Powerhound_2000 wrote:

Because the rest don't exist.  

... which would explain why there was even a wreck in the first place!


McBehrer is the sole winner of this game... And McBehrer, I would step carefully should you find your way down dark alleys. More than one vote said simply, "McBehrer must die."

McBehrer confirmed to be Biomancer!
-- Trajector

phantaskippy
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Where they'll be no tribble at all.

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For you no charge 


Crush your enemies, drive them before you, and laminate their women! - Guise, Prime Wardens #31

 
Donner
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MOO!


"Deja-fu? You've heard of that?"
- Lu Tze, Sweeper, Thief of Time by Terry Pratchett

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And then that's when I said to put it into the refrigerator.

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Two in the front, two in the back.


"Deja-fu? You've heard of that?"
- Lu Tze, Sweeper, Thief of Time by Terry Pratchett

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Who else is having fun recognising/working out the jokes behind the punchlines?

 

789


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I'm snickering at the ones I recognize, but not researching the ones I don't.

 

"But good, but good!"

Pydro
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Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.


Civilized men are more discourteous than savages because they know they can be impolite without having their skulls split, as a general thing.
-Robert E. Howard, "The Tower of the Elephant"

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Hans that do dish are as soft as Deface, with mild blue hairy lipped squid.


Stop lurking, it makes you look like a villain target
When you do things right, people won’t be sure you’ve done anything at all

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I recognize a few. I recognize "but it's good!", got any grapes, the rest don't exist, 789, Hugh can prevent florist friars (whose line ftw), two in front, two on back, Moo, to whom, and suit yourself.

My earlier one, about the crash, was a continuation of the rest don't exist, assuming I'm thinking of the same joke.
Anyway, have done more.

And the priest said, " will we have time?"

And Nyquil stopped the coffin

Purple elephants don't exist

There's a mini-Cooper parked outside

To which Descartes replied, "I think not!" and vanished in a puff of logic.

They think I'm nuts!


McBehrer is the sole winner of this game... And McBehrer, I would step carefully should you find your way down dark alleys. More than one vote said simply, "McBehrer must die."

McBehrer confirmed to be Biomancer!
-- Trajector

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I don't know, but it's drivin' me nuts!


Just assume I'm always doing that.

Damn it, Ronway!

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I can give you some cream for that.


Just assume I'm always doing that.

Damn it, Ronway!

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YARR, it's drivin' me nuts!

Nah, I'm a frayed knot.


McBehrer is the sole winner of this game... And McBehrer, I would step carefully should you find your way down dark alleys. More than one vote said simply, "McBehrer must die."

McBehrer confirmed to be Biomancer!
-- Trajector

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Lad, I don't know where you've been, but I see you've won first prize!


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You found Pascal.


Semper ludens.

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"Well, it be the first day with me hook..."


Stop lurking, it makes you look like a villain target
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A talking muffin!


"Deja-fu? You've heard of that?"
- Lu Tze, Sweeper, Thief of Time by Terry Pratchett

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Since I just got back from Australia:

A stick!


"Your goodness must have some edge to it — else it is none."
 - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Matchstickman
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I heard this one recently.

 

"Fine! Suit yourself!"


Stop lurking, it makes you look like a villain target
When you do things right, people won’t be sure you’ve done anything at all

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Silverleaf
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Christopher wrote:

Since I just got back from Australia:A stick!

Which reminds me of a completely different one:

A stick!


Just assume I'm always doing that.

Damn it, Ronway!

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Silverleaf wrote:

 

Christopher wrote:
Since I just got back from Australia:A stick!

 

Which reminds me of a completely different one:A stick!

The crazy thing is I know what both of you are talking about!

  What am I going to do with an insect that big?

Stop lurking, it makes you look like a villain target
When you do things right, people won’t be sure you’ve done anything at all

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Matchstickman
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because when you throw an ordinary meringue......


Stop lurking, it makes you look like a villain target
When you do things right, people won’t be sure you’ve done anything at all

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Donner
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A pig like that you don't eat all at once.


"Deja-fu? You've heard of that?"
- Lu Tze, Sweeper, Thief of Time by Terry Pratchett

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Heh, I know both of those stick ones!


McBehrer is the sole winner of this game... And McBehrer, I would step carefully should you find your way down dark alleys. More than one vote said simply, "McBehrer must die."

McBehrer confirmed to be Biomancer!
-- Trajector

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Beethoven's Last Movement 


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imprimis5 wrote:

Beethoven's Last Movement 

Eeewwwww!!!!!!!!


Civilized men are more discourteous than savages because they know they can be impolite without having their skulls split, as a general thing.
-Robert E. Howard, "The Tower of the Elephant"

Matchstickman
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Ja! Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!


Stop lurking, it makes you look like a villain target
When you do things right, people won’t be sure you’ve done anything at all

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