Heartbreaker and Equity Kill the Sentinels Universe - Episode 01

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The Blue-Eyed Bard
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Heartbreaker and Equity Kill the Sentinels Universe - Episode 01

Well, at long last and for some reason, it's here. Feedback is welcome and appreciated.

Episode 01 - Expatriette

Can't wait to spend all night dreaming about audio editing.

Zzzzzzzz...

TakeWalker
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I haven't been paying attention to the development thread, but I'm rather impressed. Well produced, excellent sound editing. I have to admit, I was doing other things while listening and didn't catch everything, but the two characters have a good dynamic. I'm also pleased by the use of Rosie to keep these hardened criminals from getting too PG-13. The fact that a pair of muderous reprobates are thoroughly terrified of her only makes it better. :D You really got me with "You eat bugs and stuff, right?" XD

As for the voice acting, Rosie's obviously got a different mic setup from the others, not sure what could be done about that. The other two, the voices aren't what I'd think for either of them, but I like Heartbreaker while Equity is kind of off-putting. I mean, he really doesn't sound like the character he's supposed to be, not to me. It could just be that he sounds like a guy who does podcasts for the SCP Foundation, I dunno.

That said, I would absolutely listen to more of this, the concept is sound and the execution is fantastic. Any flaws will likely grow on me as more episodes come out. :)

Phantom5613
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Over all, I really enjoyed this. The voice acting was very good(Not my own headcannon what those two sound like, but I'll get used to it in time), though at times it was slightly difficult to pull the two's voices out of the background murmur of the Hive. Other than that, I enjoyed this thouroughly. Great work to all, and I happily await the next episode. :)

Blackfang108
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Well, I guess it's past time to out myself, anyway. 

 

 I'm trying to make Equity seem off.  He's a professional in a field that invites the worst sort of people.  

 

Inspirations for Equity's include Reverend Mord from the Hidden Almanac, Sayer, and Heath Ledger's Joker, all distilled through my higher-pitched-than-I-would-like suburban-Chicago voice.  (Ideally, his voice would be an octave lower.)

 

It's also definitely going to evolve as we keep going.  This was a lot of fun to do.  (My Bearded Dragon looked at me when I recorded the bit about not having "Lizard Powers" as if to say "but I do!")

Phantom5613
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Just to make sure it comes across, I want you guys to know that I think you did great. A much better job than I know I could have done. :D

Jeysie
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I was originally going to voice Rosie (and did the "Special Submission" in the tryouts), but unfortunately turns out I just don't have the right type of voice for this compared to the rest of the cast. Maybe if there ever was a comedy podcast...


"If life gives you lemons, make a lemon cannon."

Not always the best at social skills; I apologize in advance. I don't apologize for any corny and morbid jokes, though.

Resident Argent Adept and Biomancer fangirl, be forewarned.

WalkingTarget
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This was fun, guys. I’d be interested in more if you have the time/inclination to keep going.

PlatinumWarlock
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Very amusing; I'm not sure what I was expecting, but I felt like I was left wanting more "war stories" from the pair.

"So, I'd get my hands on one of those new Revocorp ion cannons..."

"You know how expensive those are? And they jam up if you try to fire more than 3 times a second. Don't get me started on the last time my weapons jammed around ol' One Eye..."

"Oh? What happened?"

"Well, I got her to chase me into the Rook City sewers. I had a gas mask and she didn't, so I knew she'd start feeling it after a few minutes. Had her dead to rights -- crosshairs right over that stupid eyepatch-- when my TK-421 clicked empty. You know how the feed on that one sometimes rubs hot? Damned if I didn't burn my hand on the firing pin trying to reload. In the second it took me to get her back in my sights, she'd swapped ammo, unloaded three rounds of phosphorus into the sewer water, and caught the whole pipeline on fire. Had to beat feet real quick or get char broiled; man,
the only thing that smells worse than Rook City sewer is burning Rook City sewer. "

That said, it was still really funny and I love the ultra-blue-collar take on Heartbreaker.

Lord Flash Fire
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PlatinumWarlock wrote:

Very amusing; I'm not sure what I was expecting, but I felt like I was left wanting more "war stories" from the pair.

"So, I'd get my hands on one of those new Revocorp ion cannons..."

"You know how expensive those are? And they jam up if you try to fire more than 3 times a second. Don't get me started on the last time my weapons jammed around ol' One Eye..."

"Oh? What happened?"

"Well, I got her to chase me into the Rook City sewers. I had a gas mask and she didn't, so I knew she'd start feeling it after a few minutes. Had her dead to rights -- crosshairs right over that stupid eyepatch-- when my TK-421 clicked empty. You know how the feed on that one sometimes rubs hot? Damned if I didn't burn my hand on the firing pin trying to reload. In the second it took me to get her back in my sights, she'd swapped ammo, unloaded three rounds of phosphorus into the sewer water, and caught the whole pipeline on fire. Had to beat feet real quick or get char broiled; man,
the only thing that smells worse than Rook City sewer is burning Rook City sewer. "

That said, it was still really funny and I love the ultra-blue-collar take on Heartbreaker.

All of this.


" Ever had those days where you have amazing luck,
everything goes right, and you feel like the king of the world...
....And then you wake up?"
-Someone special, 2012

The Blue-Eyed Bard
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 Thanks for all the feedback, guys. I'm truly humbled.

I may play around with HB's voice a bit, and am looking forward to cameos throughout the upcoming episodes. Any suggestions as to what you all expected either of them to sound more like?

Jeysie, your submission was perfectly fine. Like I said, it was a matter of editing it to fit everything else, and I just couldn't. Not because there was something inherently wrong with it, but because I'm so new to this. It's pretty much the first time I've done anything with recording, editing, or any of it. Apologies for letting you down. As you heard, even the lines I used for Rosie were some of the worst parts of the overall production.

I appreciate the kind words about the sound effects and such. It took a bit of work to track down the ones I wanted to use, but mixing them in was one of my favorite parts of the job. 

A lot of this episode was testing the water, so to speak. Do you guys think this was of a sufficient length? Would you prefer a longer story? Do you want them to spend more time "on topic", discussing the theme of the podcast, or is it fun as-is, feeling like a couple of guys shooting the breeze, a part of which just happens to involve premeditated murder? What were some of your favorite parts regarding the characters and story as a whole? Least favorite parts?

Thanks again! 

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I'll weight in and give my two cents

To start with, I did not follow any of the devlopment of this podcast, so I am going into it blind. I have to say I am really impressed. It sounds really professional especially for what I believe is a first time production?

To give a little background from where I am coming from, I do public speaking for a living. I work at a state historic site, have gone places to advertise the site, and have worked as a tour guide, its not quite the same thing as acting but I do know a little bit about rehtoric and the art of speaking.

Thats why I think it was a very good idea to have a side topic, the aged fancy achohol, to go alongside the main topic, how to kill expatriate. When people sit down and have a real conversation there are tangents and diversons, so including something like that makes the scripted conversation feel more organic. To hit the true magic of radio land, it would be perfect if the side topic could be metaphorically connected to the main thread of the conversation. For example here you could have there view of achohol reflect their view towards killing, to give the listener an introduction. One wants to take his time and enjoy a perfectly aged fine beverage that needs to be sipped. The other ain't got time for that. I think there was some of that intent there and I really liked it, but perhaps I am reading too much into it.

A slight nitpick, and this may be me having the lore wrong, but I was under the impression that Equity was a professional killer who was only in it for the money, while Heartbreaker was more of an "Artist" who killed for funfullmit and personal pleasure. I had also thought that Heartbreaker's sthick was deadly percision, always hitting the heart, so his plan to spray and pray hit me a little off guard.

Right now I do think there is a bit of a disconnect between Heartbreaker and Equity's voices. Heartbreaker's voice sounds larger then life, like a character out of an early Hollywood crime drama. Which for this kind of setting I think really works. I hadn't pictured Heartbreaker as being from the Bronx but upon reflection I think its a good fit.

Equity's voice sounded more normal, or like someone trying to do a voice not but not quite sure what they wanted it to sound like, but I think that is something you can work with. I could see Equity trying to put on a voice to further his mystique and brand, but underneath it he just has a normal midwestern accent that he slips into when caught off guard . This might be a direction to grow the character in. He tries to come off as a professional who just wants to get the job done and get paid and doesn't want to draw attention to himself....but he must surely go though a lot of trouble to get those custom mix-matched suits. For someone who is often invisiable, he sure does seem like he is trying to impress someone.


Remember, don't turn that frown upside down! Turn it into Eldritch Power to summon our Dark Master to Spite a world that has wronged you.

TakeWalker
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Gravelly suits Heartbreaker, I just think it's maybe a little too deep? Gotta agree with CoG here for most of the rest. And the time is just right, don't go too far over 10 minutes and you'll be golden. Don't be afraid to vary the time, either, short, tight episodes may have their place.

Cult of Gloom
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TakeWalker wrote:

Gravelly suits Heartbreaker, I just think it's maybe a little too deep? Gotta agree with CoG here for most of the rest. And the time is just right, don't go too far over 10 minutes and you'll be golden. Don't be afraid to vary the time, either, short, tight episodes may have their place.

 

Thanks for reminding me of something I had meant to mention

Don't worry so much about time, more so if this is your first time exploring this kind of artistic work. Take the time you feel is needed to tell the story. Don't pad out or cut to hit some arbitary number.

Thats not to say you shouldn't be mindful of pacing, but don't worry to much if one episode is 8 minutes and one on a major, harder to kill target ends up being 30.

 


Remember, don't turn that frown upside down! Turn it into Eldritch Power to summon our Dark Master to Spite a world that has wronged you.

X-metal
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Sup guys. I'll take a listen once I get a new pair of ear buds.


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The Blue-Eyed Bard
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Cult of Gloom wrote:

To hit the true magic of radio land, it would be perfect if the side topic could be metaphorically connected to the main thread of the conversation. For example here you could have there view of alcohol reflect their view towards killing, to give the listener an introduction. One wants to take his time and enjoy a perfectly aged fine beverage that needs to be sipped. The other ain't got time for that. I think there was some of that intent there and I really liked it, but perhaps I am reading too much into it.

Damn. I wish I'd thought of that. It was definitely a connection I didn't (consciously) make. I'll have to keep that in mind, going forward.

Cult of Gloom wrote:

A slight nitpick, and this may be me having the lore wrong, but I was under the impression that Equity was a professional killer who was only in it for the money, while Heartbreaker was more of an "Artist" who killed for fulfillment and personal pleasure. I had also thought that Heartbreaker's shtick was deadly precision, always hitting the heart, so his plan to spray and pray hit me a little off guard.

I can't say I have a lot of knowledge of the two. Pretty much just what's been covered in the podcast and on the wiki. It was my understanding that Equity had a code that he followed with regards to his work, "balancing the scales", in his own way, and not just doing it for the money. I certainly hope that's the case - I'll have to adjust a lot of planned dialogue if I'm off on that one. 

Again, going just with what's in the podcast, I hadn't heard about Heartbreaker's precision until the Cosmic Contest. I'd always thought of him as something like Bullseye, but mostly regarding his unhinged mental state. I didn't put two and two together with his name and pinpoint accuracy. A bit embarrassing, that particular oversight. But, hey, it's pretty damn hard to miss with a car bomb!

In my head, Equity’s voice was reminiscent of Legato Bluesummers from the English dub of Trigun. But we don’t want to make the DC mistake – when everyone’s Batman, nobody’s Batman. If both characters are talking in low, threatening tones all the time, even if one’s a maniac and the other’s a subdued threat, an element of contrast is lost between them…I think. I may be wrong. I leave it for Equity to find his voice as we go, and I’ll more than likely be doing the same.

If he isn’t too busy, maybe Christopher will chime in with a little more information, detail, and depth regarding these two sometime. We’re playing with his toys, after all…I’d hate to break them.

Either way, thanks for the feedback, Gloom. It always helps.

The Blue-Eyed Bard
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TakeWalker wrote:

Gravelly suits Heartbreaker, I just think it's maybe a little too deep? Gotta agree with CoG here for most of the rest. And the time is just right, don't go too far over 10 minutes and you'll be golden. Don't be afraid to vary the time, either, short, tight episodes may have their place.

I've toyed around with it a bit. I go much higher, though, and it starts to sound like Joe Pesci doing a really bad impression of Andrew Dice Clay.

TakeWalker
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Well definitely don't do that!

Blackfang108
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FWIW, I recall Christopher mentioning that Equity won't lift a finger for free.

 

However, that doesn't preclude having a code.  Even evil has standards, after all.

 

And trust me, Equity's voice isn't getting much deeper. (I wish.)  I have a couple of ideas to work on the voice, though.

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Could I make one suggestion?

For Equity, I really like his mannerisms and even his halting, G-Man like manner of speaking.

But, maybe sometimes it's a bit... TOO halting. My suggestion would be just to speed things up a LITTLE bit. (Not like in post, but when you're talking.)

Still, episode 1 was great. I'd love to get in on it, if my schedule allows it.


McBehrer is the sole winner of this game... And McBehrer, I would step carefully should you find your way down dark alleys. More than one vote said simply, "McBehrer must die."

McBehrer confirmed to be Biomancer!
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Cult of Gloom wrote:

... he must surely go though a lot of trouble to get those custom mix-matched suits. For someone who is often invisible, he sure does seem like he is trying to impress someone.

I think when he uses his powers, it changes the color of his clothes. He doesn't buy those suits, he makes them.


McBehrer is the sole winner of this game... And McBehrer, I would step carefully should you find your way down dark alleys. More than one vote said simply, "McBehrer must die."

McBehrer confirmed to be Biomancer!
-- Trajector

Blackfang108
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McBehrer wrote:

 

Cult of Gloom wrote:
... he must surely go though a lot of trouble to get those custom mix-matched suits. For someone who is often invisible, he sure does seem like he is trying to impress someone.

 

 

I think when he uses his powers, it changes the color of his clothes. He doesn't buy those suits, he makes them.

That was how I understood his power to work. Possibly, the suit replaces whatever he's wearing.

The Blue-Eyed Bard
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McBehrer wrote:

Could I make one suggestion?

For Equity, I really like his mannerisms and even his halting, G-Man like manner of speaking.

But, maybe sometimes it's a bit... TOO halting. My suggestion would be just to speed things up a LITTLE bit. (Not like in post, but when you're talking.)

Still, episode 1 was great. I'd love to get in on it, if my schedule allows it.

I think this is solid feedback, Fang. There were a couple of spots where I shortened the silences, in fact. I get what you're going for and am in support of it, but tightening it up will go from stiff line recital to a deliberate cadence. It’s something I had to remain conscious of with Heartbreaker, in fact. I’m new to this stuff, too, and dust lessons from ye olde highe schoole dramae clube is all I really have to fall back on.

Besides, I don’t know about you, but seeing even small improvements through practice is a big part of the fun I’m having.

Phantom5613
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If I had to explain what I'd think Equity sounds like I think he'd sound a little more 'Nasally' and condescending, taking time to propperly anunciate each word, but again that's just my headcannon. I could be(and most likely am) totally off-base here with this assumption. I guess I need to re-listen to the mini-nemesis episode for a reminder.

I must admit, I don't really know what a 'midwestern' accent sounds like...

WalkingTarget
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Phantom5613 wrote:

I must admit, I don't really know what a 'midwestern' accent sounds like...

Honestly, while there are regional variations within the large area known as the "Midwest", it's essentially what you'd hear on American TV all the time. The "General Midwestern American" accent is most notable for it's lack of major regional markers which makes it a good one to emulate for TV or movies.

Edit for example!

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I want to reiterate, I did really like his halting, almost unnatural mannerisms. It reminded me of G-Man, which is good for such a creepy, mysterious character.


McBehrer is the sole winner of this game... And McBehrer, I would step carefully should you find your way down dark alleys. More than one vote said simply, "McBehrer must die."

McBehrer confirmed to be Biomancer!
-- Trajector

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McBehrer wrote:

I want to reiterate, I did really like his halting, almost unnatural mannerisms. It reminded me of G-Man, which is good for such a creepy, mysterious character.

This kind of feedback's always great to hear. Thanks, Mac.

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I really enjoyed this and love the the chemistry between the characters. I could see this being a bit longer though with a bit more tangents. As a first episode though it is paced fine and the lore that it is building up could naturally lead to more tangents in the future. 

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sped13 wrote:

I really enjoyed this and love the the chemistry between the characters. I could see this being a bit longer though with a bit more tangents. As a first episode though it is paced fine and the lore that it is building up could naturally lead to more tangents in the future. 

ill let you in on a little secret: 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Its short because we (and by we I mean bard) weren't sure if it was possible to be entertaining do longer. All the jokes would probably go stale.


"The thing Lizalfos and deku scrubs have in common is that they're both very flammable." -Epicstorm (Zelda universe forums)

The Blue-Eyed Bard
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That said, the next one is shaping up to be a bit longer. You can tell by how long it's taking me to finalize the bloody script...and supporting cast.

Trajector
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Hey Bard, I finally just listened to this - it's really well done. Kudos!

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Aw, thanks, Trajector. Sorry I haven't been on frequently enough to check in on this. Fingers still crossed I'll get the second done someday...

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The Blue-Eyed Bard wrote:

Aw, thanks, Trajector. Sorry I haven't been on frequently enough to check in on this. Fingers still crossed I'll get the second done someday...


I swear that episode is cursed.

Which does make perfect sense.

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I'd love to help contribute if you have any roles open!


McBehrer is the sole winner of this game... And McBehrer, I would step carefully should you find your way down dark alleys. More than one vote said simply, "McBehrer must die."

McBehrer confirmed to be Biomancer!
-- Trajector

The Blue-Eyed Bard
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I'll keep you in mind, McBehrer. Surprisingly, Episode 2 IS still going to come out someday. If we get around to an Episode 3 - which is actually likely, as I'll have a bit more help once this one's done - I'll keep cameos in mind for those who are interested. 

The Mariner
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If you need my vocal “talents,” I’m more than willing to lend them.

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I'm just throwing this out ther, but I'm french and quite interested by this project. If you want Ansel Moreau to appear I think I can handle it !