Crap. (venting)

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jffdougan
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Crap. (venting)

I learned earlier tonight that my uncle died earlier today. He was the widower of my father's older sister, who died about 7 years ago, and has since remarried.

The most polite word I can use to describe how my father has treated that part of his family is jackass, with a side helping of judgmental. However, Aunt Diann and Uncle Don (and all three of their daughters) have always done right by me. Megan (the oldest of the girls) is the most like me in temperment and interest of any of my blood kin; Uncle Don made my ex's engagement and wedding rings (and my mother's, it turns out). When my parents split, Aunt Diann pulled my mother over and apologized, saying about my father "He got the worst of both parents."

Uncle Don was a Canadian expat when he met my aunt (he actually served in the US Army during Vietnam, which I didn't know until I introduced him to my ex before we got married), and they lived in Windsor, Ontario for most of my life. At some point after I was in college, he sold the jewelry business (wholesaler) that he inherited/bought from his father, and he and Aunt Diann moved across the river and into one of the Detroit suburbs. 

I have every reason to believe the funeral will happen in Windsor, and I let my passport expire more than a decade ago. I'm probably not going to be able to attend.

OK... I need to pull myself together enough to go prep for the hybrid class I have to teach tomorrow, let alone my day in front of high school kids. Time to soldier on.


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Sorry for your lost. Family drama sucks also. There was a drunken brawl at my grandfathers funeral a few years back. 


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Sejixs
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I'm sorry to hear about your lost. Your Uncle sounds like he was a great man.

I wish there was I way I could help, but I fear that I all I can give you are my thoughts and prayers. 

 


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Donner
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Is there anything we can do to help?


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Rabit
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Sounds like he was a great person who had a good life. Best wishes to you and the rest of the family.


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jffdougan
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Donner wrote:

Is there anything we can do to help?

I wish there was. I know my cousins will be taking this hard, Erin (the youngest) especially. It looks to me like I'm going to be grounded Stateside due to having an expired passport & being unable to renew it in sufficient time. My current state of residence doesn't offer the Enhanced Driver's License option, and the processing time for the PASS document (mini-passport card) can't turn around in time for me to make the trip.

To be slightly fair to my father, his younger sisters tell me that their sister was difficult and his feelings have some justification. But at the same time, he's been an ass to that family as long as I can remember.

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My condolences.   I certainly am no stranger to family drama and it can be a hard one to resolve at times.   Again, sorry for your loss.   


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dpt
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My condolences on your loss. It sounds like a painful family situation.

Have you looked in to the rush passport options? Applying in person at a passport agency can be very fast:

http://travel.state.gov/content/passports/en/passports/services/expedited.html

It will depend on where you live, but I know some of them have 24-hour turnaround if you apply and pick up your passport in person. I've used a passport courier service some years ago, as well, when my passport was stolen shortly before an international trip, and I couldn't go in person. (But it was too long ago for me to recommend a particular service.)

These options are not particularly cheap, but you can get a passport quite fast.

jffdougan
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Thanks for the tip. I now have an appointment in the Chicago passport office tomorrow to figure out if the timing can be made to work thanks to weekends and holidays screwing everything up. (Canadian Thanksgiving on Monday, on top of everything else)

dpt
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Good luck, I hope it works! Bring as much documentation as you can think of.

Trajector
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Good luck with the passport! I hope you are able to find the comfort you need with your family.

jffdougan
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dpt wrote:

Good luck, I hope it works! Bring as much documentation as you can think of.

 

The part that may nix everything is proof of travel. As of right now, there's no set time for the funeral, and efforts to have other proof are lacking as yet.

dpt
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jffdougan wrote:
dpt wrote:
Good luck, I hope it works! Bring as much documentation as you can think of.

 The part that may nix everything is proof of travel. As of right now, there's no set time for the funeral, and efforts to have other proof are lacking as yet.

Things that might help:
  • Any sort of obituary, plus proof of relationship
  • A plane ticket, even if it's only tentative. (24-hour cancellation policies are your friend here.)
  • Hotel reservations.

​I sent you a PM, but I think perhaps you didn't get it.

jffdougan
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To conclude this saga...

It works out that, thanks to local family/work constraints, the most probable time for the funeral will be such that it's physically impossible for me to attend.

dpt, I eventually got the PM, but the forum functionality that should send email when PMs are received never triggered - I only got it (and one from grysqrl) because I went looking.

dpt
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I'm sorry to hear that it's not going to work out, in the end. At least you did your best.