1000 Blank White Cards - We broke the game in 7 rounds

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McBehrer
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(Also, important note regarding the nature of the card: the original text that I submitted it with specifically said that anyone who already had the virus as their signature before the card was played was exempt.)


McBehrer is the sole winner of this game... And McBehrer, I would step carefully should you find your way down dark alleys. More than one vote said simply, "McBehrer must die."

McBehrer confirmed to be Biomancer!
-- Trajector

Alex
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Oh yeah. It seemed self-evident, so I just left it out when I resized it. Sorry!


I make games! Here's one of them! http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/626169

BoardGameGeek interviewed me about my contribution to Shattered Timelines, Kismet! http://boardgamegeek.com/blogpost/17671/sentinels-of-the-multiverse-shat...

Silverleaf
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Well, it seems like I have to adopt the Greater than Games Signature Virus as my signature.

Nothing here says forum signature, so this obviously means real life physical writing and signing for stuff signature. And surprisingly enough, the Greater Than Games Signature Virus actually looks exactly like my own signature so it has no real effect on me.

But everyone else will have some problems trying to use a signature that looks exactly like mine for their own banking/credit card purposes. Good luck with that, people.


Just assume I'm always doing that.

Damn it, Ronway!

Silverleaf
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I guess that's the signal for my turn, so I choo-choo-choose to play this wonderful card.

More puns, that's the ticket! I can't express how happy this makes me, it's great chance to let off some steam. And of course since Paul's probably not paying too much attention, this is surely the perfect platform for this kind of silliness. I really hope we can keep track of all these train puns and that the thread doesn't get completely derailed. I mean we have to draw a line somewhere and switch things around before this turns into a complete train wreck and everyone goes a bit loco. Mind you, I'm starting to get tunnel vision and I'm becoming obsessed with these puns - hopefully I'll be able to decouple myself from it and won't get any ideas above my station.

So, time to gauge my points. 1600, unless I'm very much mistaken. That's a perfectly viaductable score.

Oh wait. 1700.


Just assume I'm always doing that.

Damn it, Ronway!

McBehrer
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No, it's your Greater Than Games signature. You know... the one for the Greater than Games forums? nice try, though.


McBehrer is the sole winner of this game... And McBehrer, I would step carefully should you find your way down dark alleys. More than one vote said simply, "McBehrer must die."

McBehrer confirmed to be Biomancer!
-- Trajector

Mezike
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Nope, that is not what the card text states. It just says "their signature".

You can't just make stuff up on the spot Jim! I'm a doctor dammit! or something...

Alex
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Recap Time!

BlueHairedMeerkat kicked off the game by offering a deal of infernal origin: An extra card play in exchange for not hitting him with any bad cards. Then, in a move I'm sure had nothing to do with his newfound demonic connections, began learning magic. His first three spells? An incantation to set someone's keyboard on fire, a curse that forces people to speak in Ubbi-Dubbi, and( most terrifying of all) the power to summon Ronway. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

Mezike refused to sign any demonic pact, and did what any sane, godfearing magic user does on their first turn: Put down a land card. He then proceded to hide in a tree, and named it Steve.

McBehrer, on the other hand, saw no problem signing away his soul for an extra card play, using it to create a meetup between SATAN and some girl named Natasha, which predictably unleashed a plague upon the forum signatures. He also did something weird involving dinnerplates and trunks for a robot, getting him 66 points( HMM... SUSPICIOUSLY CLOSE TO ANOTHER NUMBER, I SEE).

Then it was Silverleaf's turn, who lightened the mood by making way too many puns about trains, and inviting the other players to do the same.

Status:

The deck has 34 cards remaining.

All players must make at least 1 train or smashing-related pun on their turns, or take a 500-point penalty. Each additional pun after the first is worth 100 points.

BlueHairedMeekat has 0 points

-Can cast a spell if he discards a card instead of playing one.

-Is holding an Infernal Pact of Power granting an extra card play to anyone who chooses to sign it and refrain from using negative cards on him.

Mezike has 0 points

McBehrer has 66 points

-Has signed the Infernal Pact of Power.

Silverleaf has 1700 points


I make games! Here's one of them! http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/626169

BoardGameGeek interviewed me about my contribution to Shattered Timelines, Kismet! http://boardgamegeek.com/blogpost/17671/sentinels-of-the-multiverse-shat...

Alex
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Oh, and about that forum signature virus card: This is just a suggestion, but rather than fight the wording on the card it would be much more in the spirit of the game to just do it for now and create some kind of "antivirus" card. I know at least one of you has a blank in their hand!


I make games! Here's one of them! http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/626169

BoardGameGeek interviewed me about my contribution to Shattered Timelines, Kismet! http://boardgamegeek.com/blogpost/17671/sentinels-of-the-multiverse-shat...

BlueHairedMeerkat
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The meerkat wizard begins a chant. It starts of quietly - well, have you seen a meerkat's vocal cords? - but it builds, louder and louder, until it is not just his voice chanting but the voice of the dead and the unborn, the voice of life and fire and fear, of salvation and damnation and eternity all ringing out as one, in a sound that somehow chills not just your bones but your soul, and makes you think very, very hard about whether life is worth living. From this chanting, finally, two words ring out, followed by silence. The words?

DAMMIT, RONWAY!

[spell; discarding a blank from my hand to cast it]

The voice scares even the plucky meerkat producing it, and the fearsome Ronway even moreso, but this is what he's been training for. Images begin to flash up in front of him. A robot in shorts:

[Seven points to me!]

Then that's gone, and the images flash up faster, first a devil, then a girl...

And the voice returns as the devil and the girl merge, and their voices join the cacaphony:

"ANNA... YOU ARE GRACE AND BEAUTY; YOU ARE DEATH AND NIGHT AND GLORY; YOU ARE LIKE ICE AND THE FIRE AT THE HEART OF THE SUN."

And then from the melded forms of the devil and the girl, a new image:

34 deer teeth tumble into a heap around the meerkat, and from his tree Mezike feels his mind opening, his thoughts involuntarily leaking out and streaming towards the meerkat.

More images; it's becoming harder to keep track of them all now, too many are floating past, but words are forming too...

And a voice, an echo this time, a quiet call that sends a shiver down McBehrer's spine: that's his voice.

"Also, important note regarding the nature of the card: the original text that I submitted it with specifically said that anyone who already had the virus as their signature before the card was played was exempt."

[And so I am exempt :D]

Then the noise dies, the colours fade, and what's left is just a meerkat and a pile of teeth.

[I make that 107 points to me, plus 34 deer teeth and a peek at Mezike's hand.]


“You gotta have blue hair."
-Reckless

Mezike
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Of course, we only have McBehrer's word that he has 66 dinner plates. It seems like too many for a domestic household and not enough for a restaurant - we need photographic evidence of this unusual quantity of prandial chinaware! Otherwise I claim that he has become carriaged away with his estimation. Then again, it's unusal that he didn't smash any of them for the extra points.

All of this frenetic cardplay is a signal to me to take some decisive action, and I have a smashing idea. From the safety of Steve I play the following:

I have a horrible feeling that this could backfire on me. I think it's worth the risk so that I am not left on the sidings even if the pace of this game could leave me shattered.

 

(I make that 500 points and a tree called Steve)

McBehrer
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*reads your signature*

You sir, are a horse's caboose! That's a rather unsteamly, yet admittedly quite clever, workaround. So, how do I go about doing the redacted card? I'll send it to Alex, so he knows which one I'm putting face-down. But I'll let you cross that bridge when it comes time for it. I'll pass on the extra card play. 


McBehrer is the sole winner of this game... And McBehrer, I would step carefully should you find your way down dark alleys. More than one vote said simply, "McBehrer must die."

McBehrer confirmed to be Biomancer!
-- Trajector

TheJayMann
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[Spectator's note]

Ha! I had an indirect influence in this game!


Do good, I? No! Evil anon I deliver, I maim nine more hero men in Miami, sanitary sword a-tuck, carol I. Lo! Rack, cut a drowsy rat in Aswan. I gas nine more hero men in Saginaw. Reviled I, Nona, live on. I do... o, God!

Alex
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Sorry for the delay, everyone! Had some computer problems one day and the next day I simply lost track of time! Silverleaf, I've sent you a card.


I make games! Here's one of them! http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/626169

BoardGameGeek interviewed me about my contribution to Shattered Timelines, Kismet! http://boardgamegeek.com/blogpost/17671/sentinels-of-the-multiverse-shat...

Silverleaf
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All right, all right, don't rail me! ;) I've been out this evening doing vocal training - when you're in a choir (I'm actually in three) this time of year it seems like a large proportion of your time is taken up with Christmas carols and we're certainly cutting it fine leaving ourselves only 4 weeks in which to engineer an entire concert.

Yeah, I talked about something completely irrelevant with no ties to the game at all in order to shoehorn a few more puns in. I have no shame.

Card sent, Alex.


Just assume I'm always doing that.

Damn it, Ronway!

Alex
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Recap Time!

BlueHairedMeerkat began the round with an ominous ritual that summoned Ronway from the æther. He helpfully pointed out that we had forgotten to follow a key rule last round, so we pulled out the previous three discarded cards and reapplied them, among them Omnitrunks and the Signature Virus card. This allowed Meerkat to restore his beloved signature to normal, as only those with the virus in the first place are allowed to change their signatures later. And this time, Ah, Satan Sees Natasha summoned Bill Cipher the Dream Demon( Man, Meerkat isn't even trying to hide how he's probably some sorta devil-consorting warlock cultist, huh?) to invade Mezike's mind and do what he does best.

Mezike, after having the very cards in his hand revealed to the sneaky Meerkat, was galvanized into a bout of shutting all information leaks and began REDACTING all cards the moment they were played, though as of now not even he knows what he just censored.

McBehrer decided to do something BIG this round, playing the game-changing [REDACTED]

Silverleaf smartly followed up with a never-before-seen-card, whose name is only now being relea[REDACTED]

Incidentally, I have to say that one of the things I'm most looking forward to in the upcoming playtesting is t[REDACTED]

Status:

The deck has 29 cards remaining.

All players must make at least 1 train or smashing-related pun on their turns, or take a 500-point penalty. Each additional pun after the first is worth 100 points.

BlueHairedMeekat has 107 points and 34 deer teeth( fun fact: I actually checked online to see how many teeth a deer has just to make that card!)

-Can cast a spell if he discards a card instead of playing one.

-Is holding an Infernal Pact of Power granting an extra card play to anyone who chooses to sign it and refrain from using negative cards on him.

Mezike has 600 points

-REDACTS every card played until his next turn, at which point he plays every card he REDACTED this way.

McBehrer has 266 points

-Has signed the Infernal Pact of Power.

Silverleaf has 2100 points


I make games! Here's one of them! http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/626169

BoardGameGeek interviewed me about my contribution to Shattered Timelines, Kismet! http://boardgamegeek.com/blogpost/17671/sentinels-of-the-multiverse-shat...

BlueHairedMeerkat
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Well I could play a card, but what would be the point? Mezike would just redact it... I could just not play a card, maybe, but that would be poor conduct, and so bad. Hmmm, if only I had some kind of training that let me do something else with my turn...

OH WAIT :D

Yes, I'm de-siding to sidestep Mezike's cunning trap, by doing some magic instead of sitting station-ary. I discard Unloading to cast a spell of Silverleaf. Let's see you pun now...

(Side note: MWAHAHAHAHAHAH. And coupling that with another of my spells will make it even worse...)

+500 to me, -600 to Silverleaf


“You gotta have blue hair."
-Reckless

Alex
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Ah! But if you look at the wording on the card, you will notice that "casting a spell" is equivilent to "creating a copy of a spell [card] and playing it." So the act of spellcasting still causes a card to be played, and therefore your card DOES get REDACTED. Sorry, looks like that spell backfired! :D


I make games! Here's one of them! http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/626169

BoardGameGeek interviewed me about my contribution to Shattered Timelines, Kismet! http://boardgamegeek.com/blogpost/17671/sentinels-of-the-multiverse-shat...

Alex
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You did, however, prevent a card from getting wasted, since spells are reusable and cards in your hand aren't (usually)

EDIT: No, wait casting a spell required you to discard something from your hand. So I guess you still lost something... :-/


I make games! Here's one of them! http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/626169

BoardGameGeek interviewed me about my contribution to Shattered Timelines, Kismet! http://boardgamegeek.com/blogpost/17671/sentinels-of-the-multiverse-shat...

BlueHairedMeerkat
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...Well, crap :P I guess I shall just have to appeal to Mezike to let the spell hit the Punster...


“You gotta have blue hair."
-Reckless

Silverleaf
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So confusion may happen to me then? Er, yay?


Just assume I'm always doing that.

Damn it, Ronway!

Mezike
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Mwahahaha! Unlimited Powerrrrr!!!!

I'll take my turn later today when I am back home - I don't see the points of trying to do it now or I won't make my timetable for today.

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Mezike
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Rightio then, I have been authorised to lift the veil on previously top secret information about this game!

Clearly, the most humourous and fitting thing would be for Meerkat's Keyboard Kurse to backfire on it's owner, but then again he does still have that Hubba Bubba HoTep card and revenge is cruel. I am far too much of a gentleman to play such a card on a lady so that rules out Silverleaf and, I dunno, possibly everybody for all I know. Either way, Silverleaf is getting too far ahead on points so she must learn the reason why one never leaves a Quattro Stagioni on the kitchen table when the door is wide open...

McBehrer is far too quiet over there at the moment, so let's see how he copes in PANIC MODE when he suddenly finds himself completely out of options:

Which just leaves me to decide who shall suffer from a dysfunctional keyboard. Well, I like to live dangerously so have no problem incurring the wrath of a magically charged desert Mongoose, regardless of the added potential of shady Oligarchal connections. It just wouldn't make sense to play this card on anyone else but Meerkat - something has gone very wrong indeed when your own spells come back at you!

Conscious that I have now painted a big fat target on my back, this seems like the perfect time to show a little bit of elan. In fact, I think that elan will now accompany me in my tree, serenading me with sweet tunes on her Mandolin.

 

McBehrer
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I'm pretty sure the hedgehog makes YOU discard your hand. That's why it's not "a player discards their hand," but "you discard YOUR hand." So, yeah. Nope.


McBehrer is the sole winner of this game... And McBehrer, I would step carefully should you find your way down dark alleys. More than one vote said simply, "McBehrer must die."

McBehrer confirmed to be Biomancer!
-- Trajector

Alex
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No, "you" is defined as whoever you put that card in front of, not whoever plays it. Unless Silverleaf would like to clarify?

*Also, while we're clearing things up, Elan is a male.


I make games! Here's one of them! http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/626169

BoardGameGeek interviewed me about my contribution to Shattered Timelines, Kismet! http://boardgamegeek.com/blogpost/17671/sentinels-of-the-multiverse-shat...

McBehrer
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well that kind of completely undermines my basic understanding of how the game works. The rules don't say anything about playing cards in front of other people, just playing them and having their effects happen as written. The card doesn't say anything about playing it in front of a player, and the rules say that no addendums, additions, or changes can be made. So I guess I'm just really confused as to how the game is supposed to work, then.


McBehrer is the sole winner of this game... And McBehrer, I would step carefully should you find your way down dark alleys. More than one vote said simply, "McBehrer must die."

McBehrer confirmed to be Biomancer!
-- Trajector

Alex
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Alex wrote:

Most cards can be played on a single player( including yourself). Some might be played on multilple people or the game as a whole. If the card has an ongoing effect( like giving someone a special ability or adding a new rule to the game), it stays in play and it's effect ends when the card goes away. If it's just a one-time thing( like drawing a card or losing some points) the card is discarded after use. Usually.

I guess I should've been more clear in my explanation. I'm sorry. Unless the card specifies who you can play it "on," the default rule is any one player can have the effects of the card applied to them, determined by the card player. Since the hedgehog card didn't say "play only on yourself," any player may be the target of that card.

As a consolation, I could send you an extra card?


I make games! Here's one of them! http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/626169

BoardGameGeek interviewed me about my contribution to Shattered Timelines, Kismet! http://boardgamegeek.com/blogpost/17671/sentinels-of-the-multiverse-shat...

McBehrer
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No, it's fine. I just wish the rules had been a bit more clear about what was a legal play and what wasn't.


McBehrer is the sole winner of this game... And McBehrer, I would step carefully should you find your way down dark alleys. More than one vote said simply, "McBehrer must die."

McBehrer confirmed to be Biomancer!
-- Trajector

Alex
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Okay then. Just want to make sure everyone enjoys this! (◕‿◕)


I make games! Here's one of them! http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/626169

BoardGameGeek interviewed me about my contribution to Shattered Timelines, Kismet! http://boardgamegeek.com/blogpost/17671/sentinels-of-the-multiverse-shat...

Mezike
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Well, I don't want to put anyone out of joint so in a grand show of compatriotism I will also discard my hand. The rest of my cards were pretty rubbish anyway!

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Alex wrote:

*Also, while we're clearing things up, Elan is a male.

And that's a... anyway, not the one you wrote.


“You gotta have blue hair."
-Reckless

Mezike
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BlueHairedMeerkat wrote:

 

Alex wrote:
*Also, while we're clearing things up, Elan is a male.

 

And that's a lute.

 

I think you'll find it's an ute actually.

Silverleaf
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Mezike wrote:
BlueHairedMeerkat wrote:
 Alex wrote:
*Also, while we're clearing things up, Elan is a male.

And that's a lute.

 I think you'll find it's an ute actually.

Not a mandon?


Just assume I'm always doing that.

Damn it, Ronway!

Mezike
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Apparently not. Ean is payng an ute.

BlueHairedMeerkat
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Rather, yes.


“You gotta have blue hair."
-Reckless

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BlueHairedMeerkat wrote:

And that's a... well, not the one you wrote.

*cough* Perhaps you need to mark your keyboard so you are not tempted to use the forbidden letters *cough*

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That's what's got when you summon Ronway...


“You gotta have blue hair."
-Reckless

Ronway
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BlueHairedMeerkat wrote:

That's what's got when you summon Ronway...

Only when you summon me during my bath and it is this cold outside. Jeez, give a guy a warning next time...

Silverleaf
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That is an image I'm not sure I'm comfortable with.


Just assume I'm always doing that.

Damn it, Ronway!

Mezike
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Nothing uncomfortable at all about that.

McBehrer
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ECCH no one TOLD ME it was my turn. You can't expect me to remember the turn order myself!

 

Anyway, maybe I can brake/break (double pun power!) Silverleaf's point streak by giving her... THIS!

https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/78312723/1KBWC/BlueHairedMeerkat/The%20Curse%20of%20Being%20Generally%20Shite.png

 


McBehrer is the sole winner of this game... And McBehrer, I would step carefully should you find your way down dark alleys. More than one vote said simply, "McBehrer must die."

McBehrer confirmed to be Biomancer!
-- Trajector

McBehrer
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Also, Mezike didn't do a Train Pun on his turn. -500 points, plz


McBehrer is the sole winner of this game... And McBehrer, I would step carefully should you find your way down dark alleys. More than one vote said simply, "McBehrer must die."

McBehrer confirmed to be Biomancer!
-- Trajector

Mezike
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I did two train puns on my turn lad...

McBehrer
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Ah, I see them now. They were in the post BEFORE the one with all the cards. My mistake.

Anyway, my turn is up; I would have played 2 cards, but I find myself lacking in any, having discarded all of them.


McBehrer is the sole winner of this game... And McBehrer, I would step carefully should you find your way down dark alleys. More than one vote said simply, "McBehrer must die."

McBehrer confirmed to be Biomancer!
-- Trajector

Alex
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Am I correct in assuming the Curse of Being Generally Shite is meant to permanantly change someone's score, i.e. Silverleaf's score won't return to 1900 when the card goes away?

(Also, Silverleaf, it's your turn now)


I make games! Here's one of them! http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/626169

BoardGameGeek interviewed me about my contribution to Shattered Timelines, Kismet! http://boardgamegeek.com/blogpost/17671/sentinels-of-the-multiverse-shat...

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Yes


“You gotta have blue hair."
-Reckless

Alex
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In case anyone is curious, yes, you can have a score below 0.


I make games! Here's one of them! http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/626169

BoardGameGeek interviewed me about my contribution to Shattered Timelines, Kismet! http://boardgamegeek.com/blogpost/17671/sentinels-of-the-multiverse-shat...

Silverleaf
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So all that punning was in vain! Noooooooo!

I worked so hard for those points as well. You are bad people. :(


Just assume I'm always doing that.

Damn it, Ronway!

Silverleaf
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Time to go grave robbing! I didn't want your lousy points anyway, so I'll take rejected cards instead.


Just assume I'm always doing that.

Damn it, Ronway!

Alex
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Joined: May 30, 2012

Recap Time!

https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/78312723/1KBWC/01-Game%20States/1KBWC%20Board%202.png

BlueHairedMeerkat thought he could sidestep the mass REDACTIONS by casting a spell instead of playing a card, but not even magic could escape Mezike’s frenzy of censorship, and the spell he cast was [REDACTED]

Mezike finally released all the cards he had REDACTED. He sent a kitteh to go and eat Silverleaf’s pizza, gave McBehrer a hedgehog to hold, and sent Meerkat’s own keyboard-immolating spell right back at him. Looking about nervously at all the people he’d just angered, he called over Elan the Bard in hopes of looking more innocent with the Order of the Stick’s most lovable party member on his side.

In between turns there was a bit of a rules kerfuffle regarding who can be the target of Give Me a Hedgehog and I'll Show You Why, so in an act of goodwill Mezike discarded his own hand as well. +1 Sportsmanship!

McBehrer noticed that even without her pizza, Silverleaf still had way too many points, so he cursed her with general shitey-ness.

Silverleaf decided that even without a super-high score, she could still make her hand even more ridiculously huge. She sent a zombie with balloons tied to it up to the top of the trash pile, where it found her a cat-creature with approximate knowledge of everything, and umm… Ronway, apparently.

Status:

The deck has 25 cards remaining.

All players must make at least 1 train or smashing-related pun on their turns, or take a 500-point penalty. Each additional pun after the first is worth 100 points.

BlueHairedMeekat has 7 points and 34 deer teeth

-Can cast a spell if he discards a card instead of playing one.

-Is holding an Infernal Pact of Power granting an extra card play to anyone who chooses to sign it and refrain from using negative cards on him.

-May not use the I, J, K, or L keys.

Mezike has 700 points

-Can redirect a card from himself to another player, then send Elan to that player.

McBehrer has 366 points

-Has signed the Infernal Pact of Power.

Silverleaf has 0 points D:

-Cannot have a score exceeding 0.


I make games! Here's one of them! http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/626169

BoardGameGeek interviewed me about my contribution to Shattered Timelines, Kismet! http://boardgamegeek.com/blogpost/17671/sentinels-of-the-multiverse-shat...

McBehrer
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Joined: May 15, 2012

HOLD ON

these are also in the discard pile, having been discarded from my hand from me having a porcupine thrown at my head.

 

In order from top of the discard pile to bottom of the discard pile, there are:

 

So... yeah. Unless those other cards were discarded AFTER I got hit by a flying hedgehog, you get 2 blank cards.


McBehrer is the sole winner of this game... And McBehrer, I would step carefully should you find your way down dark alleys. More than one vote said simply, "McBehrer must die."

McBehrer confirmed to be Biomancer!
-- Trajector

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